This is part three on our series about absentee parents, and it's my (Kimanzi) turn and I have to confess, I'm a little nervous. My situation is a little different then the first 2 gentleman in our group. I'm a married (12 years of marriage) father of a 11 year old boy, a 9 year old boy and a 8 year old girl. I know about the subject of absentee parents because for a while, I was one of them! We got married young (the day after I turned 18) and had our first child after being married for 1 year, with the second child not to far apart. The first part of marriage was great, everything was the way it was suppose to be, to be fair I should say, I behaved the way I was suppose to, until I turned 21. At that point, in my mind, I felt like I was missing out on life by not doing what other young people my age were doing. So 3 years and 2 kids into marriage I tried to become a single college kid, and I say that meaning all I did was party and drink. I would go out for long periods of non stop partying, not coming home until sometimes 5 am. This obviously affected my marriage and for this time period, I was an absentee parent. I wasn't there for my boys the way a parent should be, to be honest I wasn't even physically there at all. My wife had to learn how to be a single parent, WHAT A SHAME ON MY PART!! It took everything coming crashing down on my head one day to wake me up to the fact that I was loosing my marriage and that I was a absentee parent. I want to take a minute to say how sorry I am to my wife for having to put up with my behavior, I'M SO SORRY HONEY! Next I want to appeal to any parent that might be sliding in this direction, the one point I want to stress about absentee parents is that YOU CAN'T GET THAT TIME BACK. That soccer game I missed, I can't get it back. That school concert where my child had a solo, I lost that moment forever! You can make up for anything else in life, but time is the one thing you can't make up for. If your a Christian, you know the Bible says that our lives are like a vapor, that's how fast it goes. Just the other day we went to a restaurant as a family and the hostess couldn't believe my oldest was actually 11, he looks like he's 14, I just can't believe how fast they grow up. So this post is really for that parent who's thinking the grass is greener on the other side, let me tell you I've been there and that grass you're looking at has dog poop on it!
If you're already a absentee parent, look yourself in the mirror and be honest, then do everything in your power to win your family back!
Their the only thing in your life that matters!
ReplyDeleteThe biggest issue an absentee parent deals with when they finally get back on the right track is their own conscience!! Children are so innocent, forgiving, and loving. They will forget the times when you weren't involved in their lives up to a certain age! I don't think anyone knows exactly what age because all kids are different, but please wake up before it's too late! No one wants to visit their kid in a jail cell or even worse at the cemetery! Guess what, the BLOOD IS ON YOUR HEAD!
ReplyDeleteIf anyone ever says that parenting is easy they are not putting forth the effort to produce better offspring. And that is why there ars so many disfunctional children and parents in our society. You recognized before it was too late imagine doing all that stuff now, how it would affect your 3 kids?!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI agree with both of you, as been said before, absentee parents are just plain selfish. look at my example, it was all about me. My hope is someone wakes up if their struggling with this issue.
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