Present but still absent

This is part two of our discussion on absentee parents, we have dedicated several post because it's an issue were seeing to much of in our society. It's also an issue that has affected all of us in the group personally. Today's post is brought to you by David, he is a single father of a 5 year old daughter and this is his message: "The issue of absentee parents really hits home to me too. In fact, I used to be an absentee parent myself. I was 23 when I had my daughter. I wanted a child, but I was not ready for one this soon. My mom is old fashioned so of course she said I needed to marry my girlfriend at the time. Honestly, I strongly considered it but it just never felt right. We stayed together for about 2 years after my daughter was born. We had problems and instead of being a man about the situation, I started cheating and eventually left. I have always been around my daughter and I have always tried to spend time with her. I wasn't spending as much time as I could have been. 3 years ago, Will and I were joking with each other. I don't remember what I said but I know it affected Will's feelings so Will attacked my feelings. He said something about me not spending time with my daughter. Now I could have gotten upset but I love my baby girl with all my heart so that was just the kick I needed. I realized these are the most precious moments of her life. In fact, I read some research that says by the age of 6 a child will develop the character that he/she will have for the rest of their life. If I wanted to have any kind of influence in her life, I needed to really change. I started by spending as much time as I could with her and teaching her discipline and manners. I also changed my lifestyle. I don't swear, drink, or yell at my daughter(I'm human so I do slip up on this part.) My daughter is 5 years old, very intelligent, and strong willed! One thing that I thank God for is how much she looks up to me. I constantly do my best to teach her the right way so she doesn't make the same mistakes I made. This would all be just great if I was the only one involved in her life. Her mother and I have arguments on what's acceptable and whats not. She thinks it's OK to swear in front of and even at her! I know a lot of people think that this doesn't affect kids but I have real live evidence that it does. My daughter knows not to swear in front of me but I will hear her say "what the..." She does not finish the statement but that just shows that it is in the back of her mind! Another big issue to me is the matter of clothing. Her mother buys my daughter name brand clothes and gets upset when they get messed up. SHE'S A CHILD! Kids do not know about name brands nor do they care. Why waste money just to impress other people? Let's be real, when a parent buys their kids name brand clothing they are doing it for themselves. Most want to hear "awe look at her in that outfit." There are others who want their kids to have the finest but don't get upset if it gets messed up. If you really want your child to have the finest, SAVE money for their future. The last thing I will talk about is the matter of discipline. I do my best to keep my daughter from anything that may influence her in the wrong kind of way. My methods may seem extreme at times but do you see our culture? Her mother on the other hand believes that you have to let a child experience things in life whether good or bad. Really? I should just let my daughter walk in the middle of a busy street so she can experience why I won't let her cross the street by herself? When raising a child you have to be proactive, because if you don't influence them, someone else will. If you get nothing else from this post, just remember, it is possible to be an absentee parent and still be present. Just because you buy things or you "go easy" on your child does not make you any better than a fully absentee parent!"