To Spank or not to Spank, that is the question?

We are in the middle of a series right now that is striving to give parents some practical everyday helps. Our last post we talked about the hot button topic of discipline. Here are the highlights:

       1.       Never discipline in anger.

2.       Have a cool off period (for your sanity)

3.       Always be consistent

4.       Show them unlimited love

If you follow the news, you may have heard about the out of control teens at our State Fair here in Wisconsin. This incident was a real life example of the need for strong parental discipline. Your kids will “follow” the crowd sometimes but if that discipline has been instilled in them, they would definitely not be involved in incidents like that, nor would they “hangout” with kids like them. Discipline is so important for the development of our children.

Today we would like to get specific, and judging by some of the hate mail that we have already gotten, I know some of you have been waiting for this. Today we would like to bring it together by leaving you with a couple of thoughts:

     1.  Both parents have to be involved with disciplining

 We don’t mean that both parents have to be physically there for the actual discipline (whatever method you choose), but both parents have to be a united front. Have you ever had it when you said no to something then your child went and asked the other parent? (Yes, you have, don’t lie) If your child does something that violates your rules, they have to know that they will be violated by BOTH parents! (That was a joke) There can’t be the “discipline” parent and the “non-discipline” parent that makes the other parent the bad guy (that’s not healthy for your kids to see). Sit down with your partner and agree on how you will handle discipline in your home and agree to always be consistent and support each other. If you’re a single parent, make sure your kids “know” what’s up.    

     2.       Methods of discipline     

So this is what some of you have been waiting for and the question that is on your mind: To spank or not to spank, that is the question (I should be a poet). First off, discipline is a decision that every parent must make on their own and for themselves. What we will tell you here is what we have seen from personal experience through disciplining a collective 9 children between us. We as a group believe in certain situations that you must spank your children (let the hate mail continue).

 You have many options when it comes to discipline and you choose the option that applies to whatever situation that you are in. You wouldn’t spank your kid for walking backwards would you? (Wow that was a completely random example) Take each situation on a case by case basis and here are a few ideas:

a.       Take away a valued item- do they have anything they can’t live without? Take away that I Pod or I Phone or whatever they love for a desired period of time. Just be careful, you don’t want them to poison your food (that was a joke)!

b.      There is the good old fashion grounding (remember that from when you younger?) No explanation here, just make sure to be consistent and to follow through. There’s nothing worse than empty threats.    

c.       Spanking. Many experts will tell you that “spanking teaches your children violence” or gives them low self-esteem or scares them, we don’t believe it. All four of us in the group have and do spank our children when it’s appropriate, and have found that it works for us. What works for you is a different story and we are not here to tell you what that is, we just know what we have done and it has worked for us.

 The key with spanking is to apply the principles from last week’s post (they are also listed above). If you approach spanking from a place of love and are in control of your emotions, then you’ll administer the appropriate amount of punishment. Again, sit down with your partner and see if this is right for your family. If you’re a single parent, than think long and hard, if you’re a Christian, then pray and ask the Lord to show you the answers.

 Besides the “methods” we hope you understand the importance of the message, you have to discipline your children consistently or else we’ll be seeing them on the news! If you want to send hate mail and want to find the email address, here it is: everydayparent@gmail.com we look forward to hearing your thoughts (if we don’t like them, we’ll track you down) that was a joke (maybe)!

 The things that happen to you at work also affect your home life which affects how you parent. Kimanzi talks about it specifically in his new book that is coming out: Tales of the Everyday Workingman and Woman. If you’ve enjoyed what we talk about in this blog, his new book will cover quite a few of these topics in more detail. Keep your ears open for his website in the next 2 weeks, the book will be out August 19, stayed tuned and be prepared to buy it!