If you have ever
done any kind of a job you know it’s hard to get the job done without the right
tools.
I think we forget that the same principle applies to
parenting; there are some basic things that will help us “complete our job” of
parenting. Children are a little more complicated than a job so these tools
might not be as obvious, so today we would like to share a few tools that will
help you in your parenting.
I think we forget that the same principle applies to
parenting; there are some basic things that will help us “complete our job” of
parenting. Children are a little more complicated than a job so these tools
might not be as obvious, so today we would like to share a few tools that will
help you in your parenting.· You need a job
You might read this and think
it’s pretty obvious and shouldn’t be on this list; we have to tell you (from
personal experience) that there are quite a few parents who don’t think this is
necessary. More and more we see people who are content to live off of their
state or the government with all the programs that are offered. We have had
people tell us that they make more money on unemployment versus getting a lower
paying job. On the surface it might sound like this makes more sense, but you
have to remember how your kids will see this and what kind of unspoken lessons
they’ll learn from seeing you do this. Plus you don’t want to be dependent upon
anyone else to take care of you; it’s your job, not the states job to take care
of your family. Get a job, so you can provide for your family, even if you’re a
single parent, you still need to work it out were your providing.
· You need benefits
All four of us are
self-employed, so we know about this better than most. For the longest time all
four of us didn’t even have basic health insurance, pretty sad I know. If
you’re in this boat we’re not taking a shot at you, we know that health
insurance is expensive. Even with what’s happening in our economy the health insurance
that you get from a company you work for can be pricey. Even if you have to
pick the higher deductible plan, you have to have some kind of basic health
insurance. You never know when something major is going to happen, so if you
have the higher deductible insurance, at least you’ll have some kind of basic
coverage. Don’t get caught in a situation where some sort of major illness
cripples your family physically and financially. Besides health insurance, have
some life insurance (we have written a whole post about this) and some sort of
retirement for the future. This is all easier said than done, but we have to
find a way to make it work, these things are too important.
· You need a stable home
I hope it doesn’t seem like we
are throwing some big things at you, 30 years ago this use to be a normal way
of life. We understand that certain situations in life come up that you weren’t
expecting or planning for, that’s a given. What we are talking about is the
things that you can plan for or have a plan for if they come up. Let’s start
with:
1.
Where
do you live, would we survive an afternoon at your place?
If you live in a place that
dangerous for your kids to even play outside, is it worth it because of how
cheap it is?
2. Is there fighting or a lot of negative talk
between you and your partner or anyone else living there?
Your kids see all this; they
take mental notes, even when you think they aren’t listening. They get tense
and might start messing up in other areas of their life because they’re walking
around with all this “weight” on their shoulders.
3. Is your home a safe zone, a place where they
know their safe?
Your home should be their
refuge against the rest of the world; they should get home and instantly feel
happy. They shouldn’t want to always sleep over at their friends’ homes to get
away from their home.
·
You need
help
Parenting is a big, complicated,
life-long task; you need as much help as you can get to get through it. How
many parenting books have you read this year? How many friends do you go talk
to about parenting help? How many times do you call your parents for help with
things that you’re struggling with? I can’t stress how much we need help, more
than that we can’t be afraid to ask for help. There are just things that we
don’t know or aren’t good at, for those things we can’t be afraid to reach out
for the help we need.
We have just tried to give you a few basic things that
will help you in this crazy journey of parenting. There are a lot more that we
could list and we would love for you to email us and give us a few ideas of
some basic things that you would want us to cover. This is the first step, reaching out and
connecting with like-minded people who are trying to do the same things as you.
This is all part of what we’ve been talking about, leaving a legacy.
So if you have read this and agree with what we're talking about, now what? It's actually pretty simple:
- Get a job if you don't have one- we know in this economy it's easier said then done, but if you truly want something you'll go after it and get it. Don't wait around for people to give you anything, if nothings there, then create something. Can you cut grass? This might help you: http://talesofwork.com/blog/2011/08/how-do-you-find-a-job-you-love-2/
- If you don't have benefits, save up to buy some- again it may not be easy, but it's your responsibility.
- If you live in a bad neighborhood, when your lease is up move. If you're having problems with your spouse, get counseling.
- If you need help, email us, talk to a friend or counselor. Talk to a Pastor, just get some help!
You have to win these battles and have these tools for your kids, they depend on you for them!
Check out what a few of us have been up to:
Kimanzi: talesofwork.com
Chaka: https://www.cdbaby.com/cd/cdillonel
David: http://stores.ebay.com/NOT-4-All-30
So what are some basic things you want to share? You can share them in the comments:
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